Are you Romantic competent?

Has anyone ever told you how to create healthy relationships? If no is the answer, read on...

What is the right age to create awareness about healthy relationships? After marriage? Or.. Right before the wedding?

Neither.

Pre-marriage course would not be ideal as you have already picked the partner with whom you will be spending the rest of your life and there is a possibility that you have made a poor choice and no amount of pre-marital course can prepare you for a wrong partner selection.

And couples therapy may be too late as you may have already developed contempt and hostility towards your partner not to mention fights and violence.

Ideally, you need to know your wants and needs before entering a relationship. Knowing what you are looking for in your partner aids in choosing rightly.

Applying the right skills from the start of your relationship can help you create a healthy relationship and be romantically competent.

What you need to know :

1. Awareness of who you are and why you do the things you do. This also helps you know better about your partner

2. Knowing both parties have requirements and the need to respect those

3. Direct communication with your partner – conveying your needs in a direct manner

4. Emotional regulation – regulating your feelings as in telling yourself ‘I can handle this and it’s going to be ok’ in place of ‘I am ruined…this is disaster’.

Not applying these skills right from the start of a relationship can cause significant damage and can make you physically and emotionally sick. Being romantically competent is all about using Insight, Mutuality and Emotional Regulation to help choose the right partner, make right decisions and deal with the daily challenges that relationships bring in. And doing so helps in creating intimacy, good communication and respecting each other.

Coach Bindu Joseph